Comments on: Why Have a Wedding? http://www.lookingforfaith.org/blog/2008/why-have-a-wedding Religion and spirituality from a Unitarian Universalist perspective Wed, 07 Jan 2009 19:10:20 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.3.3 By: Shelby Meyerhoff http://www.lookingforfaith.org/blog/2008/why-have-a-wedding#comment-19547 Shelby Meyerhoff Tue, 23 Sep 2008 00:53:10 +0000 http://www.lookingforfaith.org/blog/2008/why-have-a-wedding#comment-19547 Hi Chalicechick and Jess, Thanks for telling me about your own weddings. It's nice to hear how both of you had a clear sense of the meaning of your wedding and were able to celebrate in a way that reflected that meaning. Ms. Theologian, I wonder if part of the problem is that many couples simply don't know where to start in crafting a meaningful ceremony with an officiant whom they value, especially for couples who aren't religious. While the wedding industry is aggressive, the officiant industry (if it could even be called that) is not. Ms. Kitty, thanks for stopping by! I always enjoy hearing from you and reading up over at Ms. Kitty's Saloon and Road Show. Hi Chalicechick and Jess, Thanks for telling me about your own weddings. It’s nice to hear how both of you had a clear sense of the meaning of your wedding and were able to celebrate in a way that reflected that meaning.

Ms. Theologian, I wonder if part of the problem is that many couples simply don’t know where to start in crafting a meaningful ceremony with an officiant whom they value, especially for couples who aren’t religious. While the wedding industry is aggressive, the officiant industry (if it could even be called that) is not.

Ms. Kitty, thanks for stopping by! I always enjoy hearing from you and reading up over at Ms. Kitty’s Saloon and Road Show.

]]> By: Jess http://www.lookingforfaith.org/blog/2008/why-have-a-wedding#comment-19475 Jess Sun, 21 Sep 2008 17:43:26 +0000 http://www.lookingforfaith.org/blog/2008/why-have-a-wedding#comment-19475 A minister friend of mine has now taken to charging a sliding scale for his fee for weddings outside of his congregation -- based on the budget for the whole event, including the reception (not sure what the exact suggested percentage is). His thought is that the ceremony should be the centerpiece, and if a couple is willing to pay huge amounts of money for the "trappings," they should be willing to place the same kind of value on the officiant, particularly in a UU setting where the ceremony is individually crafted. Makes sense to me. Our wedding was ten minutes long, followed by a party with great music. We were "unchurched" at the time, already had a child and had been living together for almost three years, so the ceremony was more of a formalization of what we had already built together. It worked for us. A minister friend of mine has now taken to charging a sliding scale for his fee for weddings outside of his congregation — based on the budget for the whole event, including the reception (not sure what the exact suggested percentage is). His thought is that the ceremony should be the centerpiece, and if a couple is willing to pay huge amounts of money for the “trappings,” they should be willing to place the same kind of value on the officiant, particularly in a UU setting where the ceremony is individually crafted. Makes sense to me.

Our wedding was ten minutes long, followed by a party with great music. We were “unchurched” at the time, already had a child and had been living together for almost three years, so the ceremony was more of a formalization of what we had already built together. It worked for us.

]]> By: Ms. Theologian http://www.lookingforfaith.org/blog/2008/why-have-a-wedding#comment-19469 Ms. Theologian Sun, 21 Sep 2008 16:06:03 +0000 http://www.lookingforfaith.org/blog/2008/why-have-a-wedding#comment-19469 I'm REALLY not into weddings. I actually don't subscribe to the religious wedding paradigm at all. However, it seems to me that the commercialization of weddings seems all about things that cost money, so that time and effort are paid to flowers, clothes, and food whereas very little effort and time and money often is paid toward the actual ceremony. I’m REALLY not into weddings. I actually don’t subscribe to the religious wedding paradigm at all.

However, it seems to me that the commercialization of weddings seems all about things that cost money, so that time and effort are paid to flowers, clothes, and food whereas very little effort and time and money often is paid toward the actual ceremony.

]]> By: Chalicechick http://www.lookingforfaith.org/blog/2008/why-have-a-wedding#comment-19466 Chalicechick Sun, 21 Sep 2008 14:41:17 +0000 http://www.lookingforfaith.org/blog/2008/why-have-a-wedding#comment-19466 We treated our wedding as the public recognition of the joining of my family to his. Both sets of parents blessed the union and the minister's words placed heavy emphasis on our responsibilities to each other and how the marriage was something we created and this wedding was a mere societal recognition of the creation. In some sense, it was almost like a child dedication. Anyway, worked for us on all the necessary levels and we were told it was "very quaker." CC We treated our wedding as the public recognition of the joining of my family to his. Both sets of parents blessed the union and the minister’s words placed heavy emphasis on our responsibilities to each other and how the marriage was something we created and this wedding was a mere societal recognition of the creation. In some sense, it was almost like a child dedication.

Anyway, worked for us on all the necessary levels and we were told it was “very quaker.”

CC

]]> By: mskitty http://www.lookingforfaith.org/blog/2008/why-have-a-wedding#comment-19464 mskitty Sun, 21 Sep 2008 13:46:14 +0000 http://www.lookingforfaith.org/blog/2008/why-have-a-wedding#comment-19464 Shelby, this is really an insightful observation. Thanks for posting it. Shelby, this is really an insightful observation. Thanks for posting it.

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