I, for one, truly appreciate your posts! Your blog is one of my favorites specifically because it makes me think more deeply—and often your topics are very pertinent to my life.

The topic of commitment to a congregation is especially significant to me. I have only been a UU for a little less than three years now, and already I have made the commitment to not one—but two congregations. The first, First Unitarian of Rochester, came easily—out of a sense of spiritual bonding. I really felt that I had found my spiritual home, and signing the book was natural.

Then, less than a year later, my husband and I needed to relocate five hours away for his job. Moving away from the congregation I loved was very difficult. I was very involved with First U as a young adult leader, and had made so many lasting connections. But when I moved, I realized that my commitment moved beyond the church and the people—that it was a commitment to Unitarian Universalism itself. I realized that I wanted to continue along that spiritual path no matter where I was.

I’ll be honest—I cried on the way to the new member ceremony at my new church, Unitarian Universalist Congregation at Rock Tavern. I liked the new church, but it just wasn’t home yet. However, I chose to become a member at the new church because I wanted to be fully involved and present where I was. I wanted to share my gifts with this church, and to participate fully in their rebuilding (they had just lost the old church to fire)—particularly from the “spiritual rebuilding” end of things. Within a couple months I had already assumed leadership roles, but it wasn’t really until recently that this place also became my home.

I visit Rochester often as it is my hometown, and I listen to every First U sermon on podcast, and read every newsletter…I am also very connected to people at UUCRT, and have even been asked to join the board (I have not made that commitment yet though, as my husband and I may have to move again…). In short, I feel bonded now in my heart to two congregations. I have often wondered if I am “over-committed” emotionally. (I’ve always been a girl whose heart has a hard time settling on one thing….)

I think that commitment is one of the most emotionally laden topic’s there is—and you have only tapped the surface in your blog… But thank you for your courage in opening that door…
Your fellow “over-thinker”,
Terri

But I think you make some good points: you have to listen to your gut instinct, and it’s impossible to know for sure when a commitment will go wrong, even if one puts an endless amount of thought in in advance.

I should say that what I wrote here comes out of my own experience. I used to be overly-bound by a commitments in certain situations. Once I made a commitment, I felt I had to stick it out, no matter what. Those were mistakes, and I was lucky that I had friends who would say “you know, it’s ok to break that commitment.” That’s the good sense I’m trying to pass on here, to someone else who may be in a similar situation.

That’s what I try to do on Looking for Faith — share the struggles and insights that have come out of my personal and religious experience, while also introducing newcomers to UUism. I hope that what I write in each post is relevant to someone reading (even it isn’t relevant to everyone!)