Work/Life Balance

There’s a rich discussion going on between several Unitarian Universalist bloggers who are ministers or minister’s partners about the time demands on clergy and their families. (Rev. Adam Tierney-Eliot has a round-up of the posts).

This is an important topic for at least two reasons:

1. Clergy and congregations benefit when the clergy have a work/life balance. The practice of self-care allows clergy to nurture their own spiritual development, and to be more present during the time they spend with congregants. It reminds congregants that clergy are “real people,” which some congregants too easily forget.

And it models for congregants the value of self-care. A clergy member who tells others to spend more time with their family, commit to a spiritual practice, or take care of their bodies, is much more credible when he or she is also “walking the walk.”

Oh and one more thing–a clergy member that cares for him or herself is thereby setting good boundaries with the congregation.

2. Work/life balance is an issue for Americans in many professions and across the economic spectrum. Many working Americans live in poverty, carrying one or more jobs, but without decent wages and basic benefits such as health care.

Other working Americans make enough money to live well, but their “white-collar” jobs can also require excessive hours and have little vacation time. Even for people who can afford to work less than full-time, it can be difficult to find part-time jobs that are fulfilling and well-paid. There have also been a slew of articles suggesting that it is difficult for white-collar workers (especially women) to re-enter the work force after taking time off.

There’s a need for religious leaders to talk about this problem, and how they address it in their own spiritual lives.

That’s what Peacebang (a.k.a. Rev. Victoria Weinstein) offers her experience in her post, “Minister’s Wives and Ministerial Expectations.”

She describes the impossible demands that many clergy take on, which she is familiar with from her own experience early in ministry:

I am now eleven years in the parish ministry. In my first parish, I came in as an interim to a conflicted situation. It did not strike me as shocking that I should be expected to be at the office by 9 (I wasn’t; I essentially refused) and to be available for congregational programs and meetings most of the day until 11 pm (I used to sneak away for a work-out between 3-4:30, and that’s just how I thought of it; “sneaking away”).

She concludes with a rallying cry for clergy to wake-up:

Big mistake. Big, big mistake to keep living like that. For one thing, and perhaps the most essential thing, we are not sanctified and pious and thereby exempt from any of the stresses that anyone else faces. Get real! We are all in this chaotic mess together, and pastors who are trying to hang onto any vestiges of “holier-than-thou” are setting themselves up for depression, addiction, isolation and a host of other disasters.

I’m hoping that this can be the start of more reflections from UU’s about work/life balance. For me, it’s a topic that I think about a fair amount, but also one where I feel like there are no easy answers (practically, in terms of how to achieve work/life balance and also spiritually, in terms of understanding the relationship between professional choices and spiritual development).

P.S. One Unitarian Universalist blogger who has dedicated her blog to issues of professional life and spirituality is Ms. Theologian, at “Surviving the Workday.”