“The Few Real Hours of Life”

Last week the blog Jezebel created a firestorm by publishing the un-retouched photo of Faith Hill that was used as the basis for this month’s Redbook cover. Comparing the original photo side-by-side with the final cover shows that a tremendous number of alterations were made. Hill is beautiful in the original photo, which includes lines around her eyes, curves in her body, and other details. But all of these lovely details were altered for the final cover, as her facial lines were removed, her waist was reduced, her back was straightened, and a whole host of other changes were made. You can see the before-and-after here.

The story was picked up by the mainstream media, including the Today Show. In a segment available here, commentators discuss the changes made to the photo, in light of the widespread criticism of the changes. At the end of the segment, Today anchor Ann Curry observes, “There’s a segment of society that really wants…something real, and they’re struggling for something real.”

No kidding! Curry’s statement was quite apt; the controversy around Redbook demonstrates there are people who reject the notion that photographs of women needed to be completely reworked in order to be attractive. These women and men are asking that we instead appreciate and celebrate the beauty of women like Faith Hill, as they truly are.

Yet, Curry seems to imply that “struggling for something real” is only for “a segment of society.” (As in, some people are seeking something real, but that’s just a personal preference, limited a select few.) This couldn’t be further from the truth. Most people need some amount of fantasy in their lives, but most people also need “something real.” One can’t live a healthy life totally in fantasy, nor totally in the real.

It would be difficult to go far in life without fantasy. Daydreaming about finding a fulfilling job, meeting the right person, or righting injustices can help us move toward achieving these goals. Fantasy is a part of great art, including theater, music, painting and many other art forms that can bring us joy.

But there is also a part of us that wants something not only beautiful, but also real. We all know what it feels like to find something and think “yes, this is real,” and be delighted by it. Just as relationships or feelings can be elusive, they can also be, somehow, incredibly real. Even if we can’t put our finger on what makes a particular experience more real, we often find that the real experiences are the ones we value.

I’m struggling for the words to describe this. Thankfully, Ralph Waldo Emerson put in so much better than I ever could, in his Divinity School Address, in 1838. He told listeners:

For all our penny-wisdom, for all our soul-destroying slavery to habit, it is not to be doubted, that all men have sublime thoughts; that all men value the few real hours of life; they love to be heard; they love to be caught up into the vision of principles. We mark with light in the memory the few interviews we have had, in the dreary years of routine and of sin, with souls that made our souls wiser; that spoke what we thought; that told us what we knew; that gave us leave to be what we inly were.

Emerson reminds us that “the few real hours of life,” shared with others, are what give life meaning. Fantasy becomes dangerous when it moves us too far from the real, and therefore, too far from one another.