Speaking from a Quiet Place

Unitarian Universalist blogger Ms. Kitty posted a few days ago about a silent retreat she attended. She and other Unitarian Universalist ministers began the retreat with evening meditation, followed by silent personal time (no networking or song-singing or other communal retreat activities). The next morning, they worshipped together:

At worship, the leader said, “our service this morning will be in Quaker style, with those who are moved to speak doing so out of the fullness of their hearts.” And unexpectedly it all began to work for me, because as people spoke into the quiet room, I felt connected with my colleagues in deeper ways than usual, listening to them and speaking my own truth. Despite the difference from our own carefully constructed collegial worship services, this open-ended flow of silence and spontaneous speech and song was the most refreshing communal worship I have experienced in awhile.

I’ve been thinking about this story since I read the post a couple of days ago. The last few weeks I’ve been fighting off a very persistent cold. I hate sitting in silence when I’m sick (it just reminds me that I’m tired, my nose is stuffy, and my back aches). And yet, as I read Ms. Kitty’s post, I started missing my silent sitting time, even if it is just a few minutes in the morning with a candle and quiet. So I took a few minutes to sit today. And it was surprisingly relaxing. I did not think about my cold the whole time. I listened to sounds on the street. I reflected on things happening in my heart.

There’s a big difference between the insights and words that come out a place of silence, and those that come out a place of noise.

Last week, I rushed into an evening meeting, having literally gobbled down dinner in my car five minutes earlier (it was a busy day!) As I sat down at the meeting table, several people responded to my frazzled vibe: “Shelby, it’s ok to take your coat off.” “Shelby, how about a glass of water?” “Take a minute to get settled.” “Let’s all say our names.” (even though I knew almost everyone there.) Sure, I think folks were being nice. But I think they were also being wise — we weren’t going to have as productive and open a conversation until I shook off the cloud o’stress.

Even though it can be easy to forget, and sometimes we just don’t feel like it, taking the time to get centered can lead to deeper insights and a greater ability to connect with one another. People with a longterm meditation or prayer practice experience great benefits. But getting centered can also happen in small moments: through intentionally taking some deep breaths, through doing a group check-in at the start of meetings, through lighting a candle, through a short prayer, or through a few minutes of sitting in silence.