Ruth and Naomi - Part II

The story of Ruth and Naomi is about beginnings and endings. The opening chapter starts with Naomi, her husband, and their two sons, fleeing a famine in their homeland, Judah. They leave Judah and set out for Moab. This would be the modern day equivalent of moving to another country. In Moab, Naomi and her family will foreigners, from a different culture and religion than the Moabites.

Sometime after moving to Moab, Naomi’s husband dies. The story doesn’t tell us much about her reaction. We can only imagine the range of emotions she might have experienced. What we do know is that she and her sons remain in Moab, and each of the sons marries a Moabite woman, and they live there for ten years.

Then her two sons also die suddenly. Now we know Naomi’s reaction to their deaths. Naomi says to her daughters that her life is now “bitter” and that “the hand of the LORD has turned against me” (Ruth 1:13). Naomi is also facing serious poverty. Widows without children had no source of financial support in those times.

She decides to return to her homeland, Judah, after hearing that the famine there has ended. At first, she takes her daughters-in-law with her. But then, for reasons that aren’t clear, she changes her mind. She tells the daughters-in-law to stay in Moab, where they can live with their families and eventually remarry. Then Orpah and Ruth weep and Orpah goes home. Ruth, however, will not be shaken. She insists that she will never be parted from Naomi.

Ruth sacrifices her own security to be with Naomi. She moves to Judah, where she will be the foreigner, without money or friends.

This is an unexpected choice. We all know that it is sometimes tempting to turn away from people who are suffering and in danger, to not want to throw our lot in too closely with theirs. Ruth herself has suffered a loss, the loss of her husband. It would be understandable if she decided to stay at home.

Why does Ruth decide instead to follow Naomi to a strange land? All we have is Ruth’s simple declaration: “where you go, I will go; where you lodge, I will lodge; your people shall be my people, and your God my God. Where you die, I will die—and there I will be buried” (Ruth 1:16-17).

Even thousands of years later, these words carry the sound of a deep love. We can understand, with few other details provided about their relationship, that Ruth loves Naomi. With her words, Ruth binds her life to Naomi’s, and sets out on a new beginning.

The two women arrive safely in Bethlehem, but Naomi is still grieving and doesn’t have much a plan for their survival. The burden falls to Ruth. Although Ruth is a total stranger in Judah, she comes up with a plan. She begins collecting leftover grain from the fields during the harvest. This was a commonly accepted practice for poor people.

Now the fields where Ruth collects grain are owned by a man named Boaz. On her first day, Boaz notices Ruth in the fields, and approaches her. He says to her “…do not go to glean in another field, or leave this one, but keep close to my young women…I have ordered the men not to bother you. If you get thirsty, go to the vessels and drink from what the young men have drawn” (Ruth 2:8-9). The process of collecting grain could be dangerous for women, according to the story, but Boaz looks out for Ruth. He also encourages her to share a meal with him during the day, and he tells his workers to leave extra grain for her (Ruth 2:14-16)

He asks nothing in return. Ruth is surprised and asks, “Why have I found favor in your sight, that you should take notice of me, when I am a foreigner?” (Ruth 2:10) Boaz says, “All that you have done for your mother-in-law since the death of your husband has been told me…May the LORD reward you for your deeds, and may you have a full reward from the LORD” (Ruth 2:11-12). Ruth tells him “you have comforted me and spoken kindly” (Ruth 2:13).

Ruth’s dramatic declaration of love for Naomi is most often remembered. But Boaz also acts in love. Ruth expects him to disregard her, because she is a foreigner. She’s poor, and he’s wealthy. She’s from Moab, a different culture. But this doesn’t matter to Boaz. He is kind to Ruth because he sees her good deeds.

The story has, to put it simply, a happy ending. With Naomi’s help, Ruth convinces Boaz to marry her, although it doesn’t take that much convincing. Together they have a son, whom Naomi loves.

The story of Ruth is about crisis and healing on a number of levels. At the most basic level, it describes the financial recovery of Ruth and Naomi, who dangle on the verge of destitution, but manage to climb back up. It also a story of emotional recovery. At first, Naomi especially is devastated by the loss of her family. Yet with time and with support from Ruth, and later from Boaz, she is able to form new family bonds.

It’s also a story of spiritual recovery, which is something I only noticed after rereading the story several times.

Let’s go back through the story for a minute. When Naomi loses her two sons, she says, “the hand of the LORD has turned against me.”

Then when she arrives in Judah, with Ruth, her old friends greet her, saying “Is this Naomi?” (Ruth 1:19)

She responds, “Call me no longer Naomi, call me Mara, for the Almighty has dealt bitterly with me,” (Ruth 1:20). The name Naomi meant pleasant, whereas the name Mara meant bitter. She says: “Why call me Naomi when the LORD has dealt harshly with me, and the Almighty has brought calamity upon me?” (Ruth 1:21).

So extreme is Naomi’s alienation from God, that she feels she is truly a different person. No longer is she the person she was before the death of her sons. She sees herself as a new person, marked by bitterness.

It’s striking that thousands of years later, Naomi’s experience still rings true. Even those of us who have not experienced devastating losses can likely remember a time when we suffered a loss or disappointment that caused us to question our faith.

In the recent book, Unattended Sorrow: Recovering from Loss and Reviving the Heart, author Stephen Levine explores the spiritual aspects of grieving. He looks at grieving not only after the death of a family member, but also the many kinds of grieving we all face when a relationship breaks down. He writes of “the ungrieved losses of love betrayed, of trusts broken…and of the repeated bruises left by unkindness” (Levine, 10). When in a close relationship, Levine explains, we experience the sacred through the people we love. When our relationship with one of those people is broken, our relationship with the divine may feel broken too.

When I understand this about Naomi—that losing her family meant also losing her faith—I understand why Ruth was moved to step in. Naomi could not have recovered on her own—she needed Ruth to reconnect with love and with the sacred.

Ruth has a different vision of God than Naomi. Ruth says “your people shall be my people, and your God my God” (Ruth 1:16). Even as Naomi is saying, in effect, God hates me, Ruth is choosing to convert. Ruth also makes an oath before her new God, saying “May the LORD do thus and so to me, and more as well, if even death parts me from you!” (Ruth 1:17) Ruth asks this God to be a witness to her love for Naomi, and her promise to stand by her.

When Ruth meets Boaz, a kind of repetition takes place. Ruth asks Boaz, in effect, why are you so kind to me? Boaz says it is because he believes God wants to be kind to Ruth. Boaz says, “May the LORD reward you for your deeds, and may you have a full reward from the LORD, the God of Israel, under whose wings you have come for refuge!” (Ruth 2:12).

Boaz’s act of kindness—his affirmation that God is kind—touches not only Ruth’s heart, but Naomi’s as well. Ruth comes home and tells Naomi about her first day in the fields, and about how kind Boaz was. At this point, Naomi exclaims, “Blessed be he by the LORD, whose kindness has not forsaken the living or the dead” (Ruth 2:20). Naomi’s heart has been softened to her God, again. But not by abstract ideas. She feels her God’s “kindness” because Boaz and Ruth have chosen to live out this kindness.

It is as true today as it was thousands of years ago—we experience the sacred not in abstract, but through one another.

Because of this, I believe we can relate to all three characters in this story.

Maybe you can remember a time when you were Naomi—when a loss in your own life caused you to question your faith. Or maybe you experienced a loss that caused you to seek faith for the first time. It might have been a loss of a friend, or the loss of a job that you loved, or the loss of good health. These losses can shake us. And maybe you were Naomi, in that you rose up from all this loss, in that you found new friends and new loves, and a new, or renewed faith. You were able, in a sense, to start again.

Or maybe there’s a time that you were Boaz. You recognized the good deeds someone else did, and wanted to do something nice for them in return. Maybe you were the one who had something to give, and you saw someone else in need, and you gave what you could.

Or maybe you were Ruth. And you loved a Naomi, a person going through loss. A person who needed your help. And maybe you helped not because Naomi was especially good. Maybe your Naomi was grieving and lost, but you stepped in and helped her. Because you loved her.

The story of Ruth, and Naomi, and Boaz shows us what we can do and be for another. We impact one another deeply through our acts of love. Our relationships have the power to hurt, when we are split from one another, but they also have the power to heal.

This story lifts up the roles each of us can play in the healing process. It shows the hope that a Ruth or a Boaz can bring to someone’s life. It demonstrates that each us, with love and support, is capable of starting over.

This lesson about starting over is important for religious life. Many people come to Unitarian Universalism for a chance to start over. We look for new sources of faith after relationships end. We keep searching up after new relationships begin, with spouses and children looking for a shared religious home. We look for religious community after moving to a new and unfamiliar city.

And if you are reading this and thinking, “Yes, that’s me! I am starting over,” take heart. Unitarian Universalism can help you make a new start. Ours is a faith that says we each have inherent worth and dignity. We each have the potential to grow, to love and to be loved. We each deserve respect, and we are each called to support one another’s spiritual journey. Because ours in a non-creedal religion, there is a room to experiment within Unitarian Universalism, to try new spiritual practices, and to consider new beliefs.

We are called to be healers and to be healed. Summer is a time of growing, experimenting, and reconnecting. As we move into this season, let us live out the call to love one another and to find our faith anew.