Check-In, a Unitarian Universalist Ritual

In an earlier post, I mentioned Meg Cox’s article about why rituals are important for children. She writes that rituals “pass on our values,” “teach practical skills,” and bring families more closely together. These are the same reasons why adults need rituals as well.

We are all works-in-progress. Thank goodness! I would get bored of myself if I were always the same, and it would be difficult to go far in life without learning new skills.

I see ritual, and religious life more broadly, as a way to intentionally shape ourselves into the people we want to be.

One concrete example of this is the ritual of “check-in,” which is often used at my congregation and others to begin meetings. The basic check-in format is that people are seated in a circle, and one-by-one, each person in the circle shares something about themselves.

Check-in, like prayer, can take many forms. In one group I belong to, the first fifteen minutes are spent in silent meditation, followed by what can be as much as an hour of check-in. In this ritual, each participant shares on a deep level about the developments in his or her life, while the other people listen intently. The exchange is healing for both the speaker and the listeners.

Check-in can also be short. I’ve led workshops for youth about environmental protection, and used a check-in that takes 10 minutes. I ask everyone to share their name, how they are doing that day, and their favorite outdoor activity.

These are two different forms of check-in, and there are other ways check-in can be adapted. There are probably secular groups that use check-in as well.

Even as it is practiced in a variety of forms and contexts, check-in helps us grow spiritually. As we participate in check-in, we are being changed by it. Those of us who talk a lot become listeners, and those ous who are normally quiet take a turn speaking. Everyone is reminded that we are part of a community, and that our relationships to one another are paramount. The value of caring for one another is reinforced. And we grow closer to one another, because we know something about how we are feeling, and what is going on in our lives. Checking-in can be a small ritual, but as we perform it again and again, we grow in connection and in compassion.